Pathetic, Weak And Alone
by xWorldOfChancesx
Summary: Bonnie has been burned by her friends one to many times. This is Bonnie going through the motions. BonnieCentric. In response to 3x15 *OneShot*


_**A/N: Set after 3x15. I am horrified at the way this show treats Bonnie; and after this episode i have written this as a little one shot that centres around the idea of her finally having enough. That episode was heartbreaking to watch as a Bonnie stan. Please keep in mind, that I have just written this. I hope it's alright for all you Bonnie stans out there. Please review, they will make me smile after that episode. Also I have not edited this, I just wanted to upload it and express my feelings about the wonderful Bonnie Bennett, so please go easy on me :) xx**_

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><p>Crying.<p>

She had always hated it. Every since she was a little girl. The feeling of her heart beating rapidly against her chest, as her head filled with self-doubting thoughts, taunting her; _she loathed it_. Yes it was true, crying made her feel like the very three things that she fought everyday to not become.

Pathetic, weak and alone.

No matter how much she tried to deny it, those three words haunted her more than she cared to admit. The petite brunette had always prided herself in being the strong, loyal girl that everyone came to in a crisis. It didn't bother her that she wasn't the centre of attention, after all that title belonged to Elena and Caroline, and for the most part she was fine with that. She liked being there to help them. To feel needed by the people closest to her.

She liked being the one they could count on.

What she didn't like was being used. She disliked that Elena, her best friend ranted about her problems and feelings, never once asking how she was, or how she was doing. It annoyed her that people walked all over her everyday, never looking back. But what she down right hated, was that no one wanted _her._

No one wanted Bonnie, the bubbly human girl. They all wanted Bonnie, the witch at their command.

And that was wearing thin.

Tonight was bad. Tonight was like her grams death happening all over again. She had put everything on the line to save those she loves, and she got hurt again. She had always believed that these people were her friends and that they loved and appreciated her. Tonight she was proven wrong. She knew that they would have killed both her, and her mother if it were needed. If they had died, they'd be nothing more than collateral damage. Tonight, it had finally become clear. Looking down at Abby's unconscious body with tears welling in her bright eyes she had never felt so _pathetic_.

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><p>Her magic had always been connected to her emotions. It was a known fact. So it was no surprise that all the windows shattered instantaneously, as she stormed into the Salvatore mansion. She could practically feel her power radiate off of her as she stared into cold blue eyes of the vampire standing a few feet in front of her.<p>

"Feeling alright there witchy? What's with the dramatic entrance?" the he asked.

She continued to stare at the man in front of her. He was responsible for killing Abby. He had taken her life. Yes, her mother would still walk the earth but she wasn't human. She would never be human again.

"Why?"

She briefly wondered if he knew what she was referring to, what she was asking, but the spark of acknowledgement in his eyes let her know he understood.

"Elena was in danger. It needed to be done." he shrugged. His tone was arrogant, as though he didn't do anything wrong.

That didn't sit right with her.

She closed her eyes and within seconds he was pushed into a glass cabinet by an invisible force.

"Careful Damon, I'm not in the mood for your games tonight."

Within seconds he was standing inches away from her, smirking.

"Do you want me to show you how easy it was? Just a simple snap of the neck" he mused as three of his fingertips brushed against her neck. He was playing with her. Taunting her, as though she was nothing. As though she hadn't saved his life multiple time.

Thats when something inside her snapped.

There was a growing fire in her body; she had never felt such power, such raw energy before. With a simple thought of violence from her, Damon was on all fours having an aneurism.

"How long did it take you and your idiotic brother, to decide that you were going to kill my mother?" she demanded.

Damon kept groaning and clutching his head, instead of providing her with an answer. The aneurism lasted for another five minutes, until she grew impatient.

"How long, Damon?" she asked.

Suddenly he jumped up and within a blink of an eye, he was grabbing her by the waist and had savagely bit into her neck.

Bad move.

She felt her life slowly drain from her body, and fought to keep her eyes open. Normally she would've been scared but tonight she was too full of anger and betrayal to feel anything else. Her thoughts drifted to tonight's events and she felt some sort of energy surge into her hands. With this added strength she managed to push the blood thirsty vampire to the floor and grabbed him tight around his neck.

She wanted an answer.

"About three seconds and a coin toss" he squeaked out. Her grip on his throat loosened as she pushed him away. A coin toss? Her furrowed her eyes at Damon in confusion.

He couldn't be serious.

"Yeah we tossed a coin to see who would do the honours. But I'm glad it was me, I doubt Saint Stefan would have gone through with it."

She tried to swallow her anger; she really did, but that comment drove her over the edge. Before he knew what was had happened, he was thrown back into a wooden table. A piece of wood had broken off and stabbed Damon in the shoulder. She smirked as Damon's screams filled the air.

"Why not me?" came her small quiet voice.

"You mean to much too Elena." he replied as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Even when he was hurt he was stick a dick. She knew she shouldn't really be surprised.

"I despise you. You and your brother. You're both dead to me." She replied with such hatred, as she dashed out of the house.

She should have killed him. Put him in the ground for good. But she didn't. Whilst she wanted to, a little part of her knew that it would hurt Elena.

Now that she's outside walking the streets covered in darkness, she wishes she could go back and take him once and for all. After all Damon would if he wanted to, and he'd do it without second thoughts.

She mentally sighed.

She let herself be ruled by her friendship with Elena again, and look what had happened; Damon was alive and kicking, and she was walking around mystic falls at two am with a vampire bite on her neck. She fought back tears, as she pondered about why she was so _weak._

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><p>She was stubborn. The whole town knew it. While some people though it made her a bad person, she thought it was what made her interesting.<p>

So as she stood outside of her best friends house, she made a mental promise to stick to her guns, and not give in. This conversation was about a year too late, but it had to be had, and she was going to have it right now.

The light was on, and the door was unlocked, so she just barged in. She knew that Elena was the only one home, after all Jeremy was gone, and Alaric was out with his new lady friend. If there was ever a time to have this conversation, it was now.

"Bonnie?" came a surprised voice.

"Hey Elena," she muttered as she was pulled into a hug by Elena.

"I'm so glad you're here. I wanted to see you but Caroline said it wouldn't be the best idea. How are you doing, Bonnie?" she said, looking concerned.

"Do you realise that that's the first time that you have ever asked me that?"

"What?"

"You've never, not once, asked me how I'm doing, or what I'm feeling. You do know that right?" she questioned talking a step forward.

"What are you talking about? Of course I have I -"

"Never mind Elena. I came here to talk, and for once I need you to shut the fuck up and listen."

Her fiery stance stunned Elena into silence.

That was it. There was no going back now.

"You're my best friend. I love you. I was prepared to die for you multiple times this year. I have always been there for you. Every step of the way. And it's because you mean so much to me, you're like my sister. But tonight was bad. No it was worse than bad. It was one of the worst nights of my life, second only to the night I lost grams. And see there's a connecting factor between those two nights and guess what? It's you. And the Salvatore's. You all use me. You don't think about the consequences that will affect me, you three only think about yourselves." She took a breath and continued.

"And I'm sick of it Elena. I'm sick of being taken advantage of. I'm sick of not being thought of and I'm sick of not being loved."

The look on Elena's face was one of shock. Elena was about to interrupt, but Bonnie held up her hand to silence her.

There was still much more that needed to be said.

"Don't you see? I'm all alone in this. No one loves me. I know you said that you'd be there for me, but you lied. I'm a second choice. I'm a second choice to the people that i always put first. That's wrong. I shouldn't have to put up with this. I deserve better. than this I deserve better that than _you_."

"Bonnie, please. I love you. It's just with everything that's happened, I've been busy," Elena pleaded.

"Busy? That's your excuse? I would have died for you, given up everything for you and you're excuse as to why you can't do the same is because you're busy? Unbelievable." She knew her friend was selfish, but that was a low blow.

"Bonnie, we were trying to save everyone. Including you." Elena defended.

"I'm sorry did you just say that _you're _trying to save everyone? I think you have that backwards. _I'm_ trying to save everyone. Damon and Stefan are just looking out for _you_ and _them_. They turned my mother into a _vampire_, she was disowned from the Bennett line, and they are walking around like they did nothing wrong. That was my mother Elena. And what have _you_ done? All you've done is run around like a headless chicken playing the damsel in distress, and gotten scarified by a hybrid."

"You don't mean that." Elena stated, with a cold look on her face.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. The point is, I've had it. Enough is enough. I need time. Please do me a favour and don't speak to me._ I need time_." as she voiced the last few words, that had been on her mind for months she felt as though a weight was being lifted off her shoulders.

With one more look at her former best friend, she turned around fighting the tears that threatened to spill, and walked out of her house and her life for good. If it wasn't true before then it was true now, she was truly _alone_.

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><p>It was five am when she finally made it home. She was exhausted and excited all at the same time. She had finally said what she'd wanted to ever since gram's death. Somewhere up there, she knew that gram's was smiling down at her. Just as she walked into her lounge room she noticed a figure hovering over Abby's body.<p>

"Where have you been, Bonnie? I was worried," came Caroline's sweet voice. That brought a semi smile to the brunettes face. The vampire rushed over to hug her.

"I've been wondering around Mystic Falls. I was lost – _I am lost_. I don't know what's wrong with me." She replied.

"Bonnie it's going to be alright. I'm here. Tell me all about it." Said Caroline, as she sat down on a couch and invited her to do the same.

"No, I'm sure you want to go. It's almost sunrise." She deflected. If there was one person that didn't need to hear all about her problems it was Caroline. After all hadn't she already been through her fair share?

"Stop it Bonnie. Put your wall down. I'm not Elena, you don't have to pretend that there's nothing wrong. I mean, just look at you! I can tell. I'm your friend. _I care_. Don't push me away."

"I-I can't. I want to.. but -"

"But you've kept your emotions bottled up for so long, that you don't know how to express your self? Bon, you've been strong for everyone for too long. You need to let it all go. _You're my best friend. _ I want you to be happy, screw everyone else."

She took a deep breath then burst into tears and collapsed into the blonde vampires comforting arms. She proceeded to tell Caroline about everything that happened in the past twenty-four hours; about how betrayed she felt, how she confronted Elena and Damon, how she felt used and worthless, and how she had no one.

"Well news flash Bonnie. You're not alone. You have me. _I love you_. And you have your mum, she's going to need you when she wakes up," smiled Caroline.

The brunette smiled in agreement and wiped the remanding tears from here face. Caroline was right.

Bonnie Bennett was not pathetic, she was not weak, and she certainly wasn't alone.

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><p><em><strong>AN: Corny, I know. But it's the best that I could come up with on such short notice. I wasn't expecting to be so enraged by tonight's episode that I would be writing a fanfiction, but alas, here I am. Also i'm really sorry if there are any mistakes :) xx**_


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